


Therapy

by AnAntagonist



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Anal Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Komaeda having a bad mental health day and gets dicks for therapy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Oral Sex, Post-Game(s), Rape Game, Rape Roleplay, mental health warning, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnAntagonist/pseuds/AnAntagonist
Summary: “NO! You’re always that good to me, and understanding, I… don’t deserve that sort of treatment from someone as talented as you… let me do the one thing I can do well… the one thing I’m useful to you in… it’s all I can really offer… please… accept it...” His chest, thin and pale, strange for someone living in a tropical area, seemed that of a sickly person on first sight, yet remained attractive to the brown-haired man… if only he could appreciate it at that moment, the way the other intended him to. With his shirt falling off of one angular shoulder, he separated himself enough to reach in between them and press his palm between the other’s legs through the pants.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 6
Kudos: 150





	Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Leelo aquí en español: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782321
> 
> This is another take on roughly the same scene beginning from my other fic, "Welcome Home", but with a much less playful and cheery tone. I wanted to explore further the traces that all the events in Komaeda's life left in his mind, and his way of coping with that trauma.
> 
> All the thanks and love to Red for making this wonderful translation since I originally wrote this fic in spanish. He's the best ♥♥♥ 
> 
> Please check the tags before reading, this material has some triggering topics for some people.

The white building stood out among the lower structures in the area, and when the evening sun was reflected on the glass of the windows and balconies, the tropical colors shone in lively oranges and blues. The apartments in the upper floors weren’t particularly more spacious than the rest but had their few differences, one of them that the balconies led to entire walls of glass pane, unconcerned with privacy in such high floors, the living units offered their occupants a near full view of the neighboring islands and the unobstructed, beautiful dusk.  
  
Komaeda held a cup of coffee between his hands, letting the aromatic steam warm his nose as he watched the sundown beyond that glass, closed to keep the cool from the AC inside. It had been a specially difficult day to be alone with himself and he was starkly aware of that. The sky going red didn’t help keep some of the memories away, much less the fact he felt no heat from the cup on his left hand.  
  
He closed his eyes, confirming the blow from the past was still with him, the figure with long black hair swayed by the wind, eyes as red as that sky, observing him coldly… he rushed the cup to his lips, taking a too-long sip that burned his tongue and palate. With a small yelp he put the cup aside, thankful that the brief pain had returned his mind to where it was supposed to be.  
  
His day has been pretty stressing, though in appearance tranquil; shut in alone he had time to think, to have within the privacy of those walls the necessary breakdowns for it to be somewhat out of his system and to feel in some control. He was thanking his luck, because despite how Hinata would’ve taken the day off to care for him, he would’ve still had to go tend to an urgent call that day. He was aware of how complicated he could get and detested being a burden in those kind of days, where he could see the worry in his partner’s eyes and no smile or excuse could fool that talented, analytical gaze.  
  
As the sun dipped behind the horizon, the glow diminished and the lights on the bridges began to come on, as did some more spread among the windows he could see from his position. He imagined at that hour the offices would be closing, the Future Foundation employees leaving to their respective houses… and Hinata would still occupy that one office with the computer as only light, as he remotely solved problems for idiots that had no idea what true despair was, and thus… what true hope was. Those people had no idea how lucky they were to be helped by the Ultimate among Ultimates, the Ultimate Hope.  
  
“It’s only due to my luck that my feelings are returned. Nothing else. A person with that many talents could have anyone he wanted… yet chose to look at an insect like me…” As per usual, he let his thoughts flow out loud when he was alone, feeling like if he made them physical and heard them in his own voice they’d gain more sense and be easier to follow… above all, uncontaminated by ghosts of the past.  
  
His gaze lowered to the warm beverage. This time, he took care to keep his mind on his own side, even if it sank in other thoughts, and not burn himself again. The clean, high-pitched sound of his robotic fingers playing along the rim of the cup cut the perfect silence of the place and for an instant drew out solitary notes, until being accompanied by the intrusive sound of the key on the door lock.  
  
The snowy-haired man turned to see his partner entering, instantaneously smiling at the figure that appeared tired and stressed, even sporting a frustrated crease on his forehead. Komaeda waited a few moments, still and smiling, until the brown-haired man’s eyes fell on him and that crease softened. “I’m home.”  
  
“Welcome.” He responded in a soft tone and immediately headed to the kitchen to make tea while the other got more comfortable, as per their routine.

-..-

The hit made the ceramic burst, the pieces flying and scattering in the kitchen floor and even some on the hallway, after the cup had hit the floor, followed immediately by Komaeda’s pained scream as the boiling water fell on his leg and hand. Hinata rushed to him in a moment, alarmed by the incident. He found the other already bent down to pick up the ceramic pieces, using his metallic hand to gather them from the pool of hot water to avoid burning himself again.  
  
“Don’t worry about me… I’m so clumsy… must be my bad luck, not letting me get anything done right today...” He apologized straight away, with his eyes lowered. His artificial fingers moved mechanically as he picked up the pieces one by one, making an effort to keep his focus on the task and not the intrusive thought that had gotten him to drop the cup in the first place.  
  
“Nagito, leave that. Did you get hurt? Leave it already. Nagito! I said leave it!” The brown-haired man progressively raised his voice at the man who seemed to refuse to listen, and losing a portion of his patience grabbed him by the arm to pull him away. He could feel the other’s body become dead weight under his grip.  
  
Komaeda would often do that under a firm hold, just let the stronger side have him and become submissive if the other would take control, but not in that type of situations, not outside the bed. Now he just kept his head low, hiding his expression under the thick locks of hair and barely showing his tense lips, pursed to a pale line.  
  
“Come on, get up. Goddammit, Komaeda!” The frustration grew evident in his voice as well as the way he called him this time, tensing up as he had to drag him to get him out of the kitchen. Now more than ever Hinata kept in mind the state he’d left him in that morning.  
  
Bare feet stepped on the still warm but not scalding water, looking to be sure not to step in any ceramic shards as he attempted to lift his partner, but he seemed to have other plans, as immediately demonstrated.  
  
The firm, cold, metallic hand placed itself steady on his stomach, and with the weight of his body he pulled on the other, using his free hand to grab on to one of the pant legs and topple him over, rear first, to the wet floor. The sharp thud barely elicited a groan from the affected man, who’d stopped himself just a bit by grabbing on to the edge of the counter, but still failed to prevent the fall.  
  
“I’m sorry, Hinata-kun… I’m so useless… I can’t even make some tea for you when you come home tired from work...” Without allowing the other to rise he climbed atop him, knees on either side of Hinata, leaning his weight on the prosthesis placed directly on the other’s chest to keep him down. He made visual contact, not bothering to hide or even dry the tears that still rolled down his cheeks, despite his voice coming out sure and certain. His free hand was used to open one by one the buttons on his hawaiian-style shirt.  
  
The man’s angered expression, the natural reaction to being pushed over, immediately shifted to a consternated one at seeing his partner like that. He extended his hand to give a caress that was rejected with a somewhat clumsy smack. Still, he tried again, now just on his thigh, a place he could reach without agitating him more than necessary.  
  
“Nagito… you’re not useless, don’t say that. It was a long and tough day, you’re tired. Just rest and I’ll finish...”  
  
“NO! You’re always that good to me, and understanding, I… don’t deserve that sort of treatment from someone as talented as you… let me do the one thing I can do well… the one thing I’m useful to you in… it’s all I can really offer… please… accept it...” His chest, thin and pale, strange for someone living in a tropical area, seemed that of a sickly person on first sight, yet remained attractive to the brown-haired man… if only he could appreciate it at that moment, the way the other intended him to. With his shirt falling off of one angular shoulder, he separated himself enough to reach in between them and press his palm between the other’s legs through the pants. The body under his touch reacted with a start to the sudden, all-too-direct contact.  
  
“Nagito! Stop that… ngh… this isn’t the time...” He blurted out between clenched teeth, only to soon regret it, since the answer hadn’t pleased his partner who tightened his hold, now cupping with all of his hand from his member to his testicles. Movement didn’t take long to begin, Komaeda rubbing carelessly with his palm as he lowered himself with intent, one that Hinata noticed soon enough. He tried to stop him, but Komaeda clung all the more, fingers digging in hard under his testicles in warning. A curse word or another slipped past the brown-haired man’s clenched teeth.  
  
“Don’t worry… I won’t ruin this, I promise. Let me do it for you. Garbage like me can only be useful for this… so let me give it to you… I _need_ to give it to you.” Komaeda’s knee came to lean between the other’s legs, pressing and opening the way for his body to follow as he spoke.   
  
With agile movement he simply opened the pants’ zipper and, without even taking the garment off, just moved the underwear low enough to pull out his partner’s penis. Still soft between his fingers, wet from the spilled water, the member leaned to one side over the fabric of the pants and under the disillusioned stare of the snowy-haired man.  
  
“Of course you’re not hard… who would get hard with something like me in their field of vision? Even if I’m offering pleasure… I’ll take care of it. Close your eyes and think about anything you like, you don’t have to look at me.” Between words, his hand kept working on the flaccid flesh, done pulling it out and then giving it soft caresses without even shifting his gaze. With his wrist he dried his eyes, removing the tear trails from his face, in which a bit more of a sincere smile appeared.  
  
Hinata didn’t move from his spot, nor did he make a sound. Hesitant on how to proceed, he just observed through bicolored eyes darkened by half-lowered eyelids, analytical of the other’s mental state. Hard on himself, he now regretted having gone out to work leaving his partner alone with whatever he’d had to deal with that day. Although he wasn’t in the mood, his body still reacted, his breath became heavier as his member gained girth under the soft attentions Komaeda gave it. He loved him, he’d been sure of that for some time already, and even with his mood at odds with the situation, he wasn’t rejecting him.  
  
The touch of cold metal made all of him shiver, tensing up his lower abdomen as he felt the unnatural pressure that limb tended to be, though nothing he wasn’t already familiarized with. He had to breathe in and contain the sudden, hot pulse that rushed abruptly down his body when he caught sight of the other’s saliva, slipping purposefully from his lips to the tip that a metallic thumb kept exposed, by pushing the still loose skin back. The warmth made his tremble and he ended up biting the inside of his cheek when the hand movement resumed more fluidly, slipping on moist skin, metal warming up a little thanks to the contact.  
  
Meanwhile, the white-haired man focused himself on the task before him, eyes fixed on the cock between his fingers, mind constantly pushing a similar memory in the way. Before his boyfriend’s image was interposed one from the past, a similar view of the same anatomy, even framed by black formal pants, just without long black hair around it all. The thick locks of messy light hair covered his tense expression as he simply let himself be carried away by it and lowered his head to put his lips to work.  
  
The mechanical whisper of his hand movement was heard aloud when he squeezed, exerting a firm and even pressure around the base of the other’s cock, pulling back its skin to expose the more sensitive area. With short, tentative licks to incite the other into arousal he made his way forward, putting it in his mouth, lowering himself little by little until his lips touched his own hand which he then took away. It was easy to have it all inside when it wasn’t fully erect, the flesh adapted with ease against his tongue, occupying his mouth in a more malleable way and even leaving room to breathe, though that wasn’t what he was looking for.  
  
He sucked, making a slight vacuum effect in his closed mouth to stimulate the blood to flow there, he pressed his tongue to the more sensitive areas and even dared to scrape his teeth just lightly over the shaft to toy with the sense of threat, poured himself passionately into his rapidly succeeding mission. The agitated breathing of his partner was a push forward, but even more so feeling how there was already no space in his throat to allow him air. He pulled his head back and with a wet “pop” the member leaned heavy against the brown-haired man’s stomach, dripping thick with saliva.  
  
“Kamu… ah… mhn...” The voice, hoarse, hesitated and cut off the name, not daring to raise his eyes from the skin that shone wet and the its slight movement from the slight movement from its owner’s breathing. “... I can feel it in my mouth. It fills me with happiness to feel it grow, to make it hard. At least I can give you that much, I can manage to get you some pleasure. But it’s not… enough… not yet, it’s not good like this yet!” His lips had barely left the other’s member and in his view, the white-haired man once again moved his head to brush the tip past his lips, slipping from the saliva and rubbing it on his cheek like a pampered cat, leaving a wet trail all over his face. With his eyes closed he showed his enjoyment for the position he placed himself in, almost purring against the hard meat as he gave it small kisses and occasional, toying licks. “Do you like it?”  
  
Hinata felt the heat from his body focus on his face, surely blushing. His breathing was heavy and panting now, charged with the arousal the other had all but imposed on him. His body remained on the floor, just the upper half raised, propped up on an elbow, with his arms and chest tense so as to not slip again on the wet floor. He responded with a firm voice, barely affected by the panting.   
  
“Y-You do it great… of course you do it great. I like everything you do, Nagito.” He reassured, already accustomed to hearing the self-deprecating words his partner would say almost constantly, not treating them as seriously as he perhaps should. Normally he’d allow him that, to put himself in the inferior position, without resisting the roles, as every time he did he’d be attacked with a logic so hermetic and rigid not even he could penetrate it, and end in nothing but big discussions.  
  
This time was no different...  
  
“But it’s not enough! Why are you good to me?! Don’t you see that I don’t deserve it?! I’m not doing it right! I should do better! I should do at the height of the Ultimate Hope!” He was violently stubborn. Then, lowering his head, he gulped down what was in front of him. His eyes immediately became wet when he managed to take the member beyond his mouth and down his throat, forcing himself to relax and contain any impulse of retreating.  
  
The sudden action took the brown-haired man by surprise and him shudder with an uncontrolled moan, his entire body tensing down to his toes. His teeth snapped shut as he let his head fall back, just focusing on the intoxication sensation of his cock entering the tight throat and the tongue enveloping the underside, feeling himself stand on end all over every time the other tried a swallowing motion. He simply let him do as he would, his lover’s mouth working on him with more adoration and dedication than normal, even bordering on a harshness that wasn’t strange between them. Komaeda would normally give himself passionately to that type of activity, but this time he was somewhat overdoing it.  
  
“Ah…! N-Nagito! If you g… if you go on… you’ll make me… ngh!” Naturally he leaned up and forward, as he felt the suction of his partner’s mouth turn stronger and his fingers digging into his hips.   
  
He understood the mute request and happily gave it, beginning to actively chase his orgasm. His hips pushed forward, his moaning became more audible even through clenched teeth, tensing his abdomen so much he felt a burning grow and melt into the heat of arousal. There was no need to care for the short thrusts into his lover’s throat, he knew he could take him that way, even asked for it… such worries and delicacies had been abandoned months ago already.  
  
The orgasm hit Komaeda’s throat, quickly filling his mouth between the other’s thrusts until his lips couldn’t keep it back, thick drops filtering through and rolling down the shaft of his cock. Slowly his head retreated until there was enough space to swallow, holding the base with his artificial fingers even before his mouth fully pulled away. While he licked his lips clean, his fingers squeezed some more, like a constricting ring that prevented the blood from flowing back to the rest of the body, causing a painful throb.  
  
Hinata let out a short scream of surprise when the first pulse beat shot a thunderbolt of pain up his stomach. Feeling trapped by such a delicate area, he lowered his eyes to the other cautiously, voice even shaking.  
  
“Ko… Nagito… w-what are you doing?” The aforementioned only smiled, just about done wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and catching what had dripped down his chin. He gave no verbal answer, only lowered his head once again before the increasingly fearful gaze of the other. The first lick and simply painful, too much sensitivity to endure even the most gentle treatment… and Komaeda was being tortuously gentle. His lips again caressed the swollen, hot, still wet flesh, making his partner’s back arch, his nails drag on the floor and his toes curl. His voice didn’t even come out as he tried to call for him again, but the shocks of painful electricity became more diffused as he continued taking him threshold of pleasure.  
  
“It’s not enough… you still have more, look, it’s all swollen. It’s the only good thing I can give to you. It’s the only thing in which I’ve… always been… useful to you, even before the simulation...” The last words came out in a breath whisper, accompanied by the pressure of his nails against the other’s body. His gaze was fixed low, his ideas beginning to make him feel dizzy, dimming the room around him and allowing him to concentrate only in what was in front of him. The dark seemed to eat away at the corners of his vision, covering everything in black and red film. “For someone loved by talent, what can a worm like myself offer? You could have whoever you wanted, someone better beside you. But my luck ties you to me. It was my luck that made me find you first and offer you what no one had before… offer you something you couldn’t do for yourself...” To illustrate his point he gave another short lick.  
  
Hinata was struggling to keep his mind focused enough to notice the red flags already rising before his eyes. On the other hand, the contact of Komaeda’s lips on his skin felt like thousands of needles preceded by a feeling of tortuous pleasure that made him wonder if he wanted to stop him or let him continue. His sight, half-lidded and already distorted by the dampness collecting in his eyes, watched with some worry as he tip of his member turned from pink to a slightly purplish red… was he feeling less pain only because he was going numb? How much was Komaeda squeezing him? He saw the dark and smooth mechanical fingers around him, a feeling of pressure that grew more distant all the time and only amplified the pleasure of the licking.  
  
“Nagito… I lo-love you… it’s not like that...” He managed, clearly embarrassed by the open declaration, even though it had been months since the first time he’d said such a thing, it was still hard to express despite how necessary it felt in that moment. The other was a few steps away from reality and with those words, he was trying to lure him back. “I love you… that has nothing to do with talent...” The words were hardly audible, a tight whisper. “... not your luck… or mine. I’m with you for much more than… ngh!” His breath was abruptly stopped and his body felt paralyzed, when his member again disappeared inside the other’s mouth.  
  
His sensitivity was still a mess, the blood in his crotch couldn’t return to the rest of his body and kept his erection up the brute way, and Komaeda showed no mercy nor concern about putting his mouth back to work. The only sounds in the room were the pleasured moans and pleas of the brown-haired man, interrupted by the short noises of his partner every time his head pulled back enough to breathe and his voice left him in little moans.  
  
A softer feeling of relief was helping him relax some, the grip was slowly releasing and the blood flowed back with slight, stinging pricks that were rapidly replaced with the warm pressure of his partner’s mouth. His shoulders and back finally managed to relax again, gaining some steadiness by bending his knee and placing his heel on the floor, regaining some control of his own body.

  
“And you’re still hard...” The vibration of the other’s voice was felt right against his member and he thought he’d lose his head. When he lowered his eyes, he was met with the olive ones of the man that seemed to deliberately ignore that the erection was a forced one, and had the cheekiness to even use a surprised tone.   
  
“I have to do something about that...” He continued, again eyeing the unattended manhood, shimmering from the thick coat of saliva left on it. “I can’t leave you like that… not when you do so much for garbage like me, moreso! When you give me such a wonderful view of your body...” Extending his fingers he caressed the mount of dark brown hair before him and went up along the stomach, tracing with several fingers the defined muscles and lifting up the shirt in his path. Word by word his tone had become more monotonous… almost whispering, as though he believed himself alone and only whispered out loud.  
  
His other hand found its way down, to open his own pants and lower them to his knees, exposing the erection below the triangle of white, thick and wavy hair. Hinata’s attention immediately fell towards that area, swallowing thickly in relief upon confirming that his partner, despite his unbalanced behavior, was still enjoying the game he was imposing.  
  
He always enjoyed the image of his beloved aroused, appreciative of that certain aura of delicateness he expelled, even when presenting an image as vulgar as openly exposing his erection. Could’ve been love… could’ve been attraction… could’ve been just mere sexual desire firing up at that moment, either way, it worked to keep him entranced by the soft and white skin in which the crossing scars were barely visible and easily forgotten. And that creamy look was extended even to his member, which barely reddened at the tip, reminding him a little of a peach’s color in spring.  
  
The object of his admiration was rapidly removed when Komaeda turned his rear to him, as white as the rest of his body, thin to the point that, bent on his hands and knees, it seemed even angular. The airy voice trembled in anticipation. “I know you wouldn’t want to be looking at my face… haha… that’d ruin it for you…” He blabbered under his breath as he positioned himself over the other’s legs and lowered his hips unto his cock. “Let me… I’ll just… I’ll… mm...” His hands settled on the knees before him to hold himself upright, exposing to the other his bare back.  
  
His hips dipped, without help or guidance his buttocks just rubbed against the hard flesh, pressing to get it in between but slipping in every attempt, due to the saliva still coating it. Between whining moans slipped out a short laugh. “‘So useless’… that’s what you must be thinking… ‘so useless he can’t even do this right…’”  
  
Hinata just panted, both elbows on the floor under him to keep his upper body raised and be able to see his lover’s attempts. “”K-Komaeda… stop playing... ” He pleaded. He was hard to the point his testicles hurt and his cock felt so tense he could’ve sworn that never in his life had it been that swollen.  
  
“I’m not playing… I’m just… too useless.” Komaeda whined, now bringing his hand between his legs, under his own erection, to press the other’s erection with his fingers as minimal guidance… he brought the tip to his entrance, lowering himself to the point of nearly sitting on Hinata, but the tiny intromision in his entrance made him shudder in pain and as he pulled his hand away, he only managed for the other’s cock to slip back out.  
  
“Komaeda!” The shout of frustration was accompanied by his hand grabbing him hard by the hip. Wetting the thumb of his other hand with saliva he grabbed him by one of the buttocks and began pressing into his entrance, rubbing and preparing him with harsh movements that tore stifled moans from the snowy-haired man. “I told you to quit playing around! You know damn well how to do this! Dammit! Y-You… you’re just provoking me...” The annoyed tone was softened by the aroused panting, but not enough to cover the choking laughter of his partner, who moved his hips against the finger that didn’t yet enter him. Until it did, and Komaeda’s back went tense with a high-pitched, surprised little yelp.  
  
“Ah! W-Wait!” He complained, head hung low, but deaf to it the intrusive finger continued to move, entering till the knuckle and starting on him with firm gestures to relax his muscles. It wasn’t the first time they played rough and Hinata knew how far he could go without really hurting him, besides, the game Komaeda was setting out for him was a rough one as far as he was interpreting… not to mention that the palpitation around his thumb was a clear indication that the body reacted positively to the stimulation.  
  
Despite his previous complaint, Komaeda began to move his hips, letting out small anxious noises as he pressed further and further against the finger, helping the other settle on a more marked rhythm. “Ah…! Everything… you have to do everything… if you want it to go well… I can’t even do this for you...” Speaking between pants he only made his voice come out weaker, more hurried. “I’m nothing, nothing more than the earth that gets stuck against the soles of your shoes… even a mangy street dog could please you better than I...”  
  
“Jesus christ, Nagito, shut up!” He interrupted, bothered by the bizarre mental images he kept bringing up. Keeping his upper body raised just by the tension of his abdomen, he observed the close-up of his hands, wide and of healthy color in contrast with the sickly paleness of the other, holding him with a thumb still buried between his buttocks and inside. Keeping his grip steady he made him come down on his erection, releasing him with one hand simply to help himself and guide his cock in. Quickly pulling his finger out he substituted it for the pressure of the swollen cock tip that entered much easier this time, though not without making the other cry out from the difference in sizes. For a moment de stopped, fearful of going too fast.  
  
“You okay…?” Hinata’s voice sounded worried, but Komaeda nodded without even thinking about it. His fingers gripped his knees and his body was bent forward, making the vertebrae on his back jut out.  
  
“I’m gonna move...” He went on to announce, before his fingers gripped his hips harder, large and strong hands that held him with as much ease as one would a ragdoll… and it was the way Komaeda wanted to be treated.  
  
The affirmative from his partner was all that Hinata needed to begin moving him, gentle and steady at first to allow him to get accustomed to him being inside, to adjust and relax. His own hips moved as well, not so much to push in and pull out, but slightly to a side or the other, rising and falling slowly to rub him loose, almost as if massaging him inside. The brown-haired man’s body relaxed, resting his back on the wet floor as he took the clothes his partner has discarded to put them bunched up under his head, and keep his eyes on the small waist and messy light hair.  
  
“Stop!! No! Ahh!” The sudden cry alerted him immediately, making him stop in his tracks. The bony frame atop him had shifted, nails digging into his knees, making him hiss between his teeth in pain.   
  
Hinata immediately released the other so he could separate himself as needed, yet having the liberty he went nowhere, on the contrary he stopped struggling, his fingers relaxed and he even moved his hips somewhat back, inviting the other to keep going.  
  
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” His voice displayed his worries clearly, but his partner just nodded without a word. _“Must’ve moved wrong...”_ he thought, trying again more gently, this time making sure to be particularly careful… and once again, within a few moments a cry pierced his ears again, the struggle returning.  
  
“Nagito!” This time it was him who pulled out, raising the other’s bony hips with his hands, pushed by the urgency of feeling what might’ve been hurting him. “What’s going on?” He released him, still confused on what he was expected to do he rose fully off the floor, though unable to take a step anywhere before the other’s hands were already holding on to his legs, face pressed at the height of his crotch. “No!” The simple monosyllable was harsh and accompanied by a grab on the arm, lifting the thinner man nearly in a single tug. He let himself go slack again.  
  
Frustration was beginning to show in Hinata’s furrowed brow, his partner was refusing to talk or even look at him, but his hand kept trying to go for his erection and his body pressed up to his, cold from having been against the wet floor.  
  
“Talk to me! What do you want?! What’s going on?” He insisted for an answer, but got only silence and a purposeful diversion of the gaze when he tried to meet it. Nonetheless, the hand near his manhood insistently touched, grabbing him and beginning to masturbate him in an attempt to keep him going.  
  
Releasing some of his frustration, he pulled to get Komaeda off and shoved him against the back of the nearby couch in the main room, bending him over at the waist so that the head fell against the cushions and the hips remained raised. The simple, violent action made Komaeda start to twist around again, releasing small whining noises in complain as he grabbed a cushion that he ended up pushing to the floor. The brown-haired man placed his hand on the other’s back, just holding him in place, preventing him from moving about too much but nothing more.  
  
Until the subdued man’s leg rose, hooked him at the thighs and pulled him closer, pushing with his heel. Unable to help it, without having predicted that movement at all, his hips ended up against the skinny, raised ass. That simple pressure, on its own, brought the throbbing of his half-erection back and made him swallow thickly. But at the first attempt to rub in return in any sexual way, Komaeda’s denial began again, muffled whines against the cushions and some struggling under his grip.  
  
“Be clear, for fuck’s sake! Do you want me to or not?!” Along with the words, he tightened his grip on the other’s arm even more, trying to call for his attention so that he’d understand the words. There was no verbal answer… again, but the raised hips moved against his erection, inviting, just as the pressure of the heel on his rear.  
  
“Do I go in?!” He outright yelled, not hiding how impatient he was at the whole situation.   
  
This time the answer was clear, not just the nod of the other’s head, but also an affirmative sound muffled against the couch. Releasing the other’s back, he helped himself with a hand to guide himself back inside, pretty embarrassed at having to let saliva fall from his mouth to his crotch, but without eyes on him he could… and he didn’t want to hurt the other by accident or lack of lubrication, even if this wasn’t the best type. He went in softly, sliding against no resistance due to the position and already relaxed state of the other’s body.  
  
Komaeda extended his free hand, feeling his way until finding his partner’s hand and bringing it to his hips, squeezing, especially on the fingers. Understanding right away what he was asked to do, Hinata tightened his grip and held him hard, letting go of the arm in order to take his hips with both hands, though that action again caused a reaction of rejecting. Only that that this time the brown-haired man didn’t loosen up, just narrowed his eyes and asked, “Do I go on?” The struggle paused only a moment, to show the snow-colored head nodding affirmatively.  
  
That was it. When he gave the first thrust forward, the choked scream made his blood run cold, his partner’s nails dug into his hands, keeping them in place, but his hips and legs moved about as if trying to escape the grip. “Nagito, talk to me! Tell me what the hell you want! I can’t keep going like this… tell me what you want clearly… tell me what you want and I’ll do it… but tell me.” The violent tone became a pleading one, one more attempt to reach him.  
  
The struggling stopped, but the silence was worse… until Komaeda’s small, raspy voice appeared like a ray of light shed in the dark for Hinata. “I want it...” It was barely a whisper, but in the silence it was clear enough. “The _despair_...” Hinata’s hand immediately let go, willing to retreat, to pull out, but both of the other’s extended with urgency and clung to him. After a slight gasp from the movement he continued talking. “I want to _feel_ it… I know it’s not real, I’m not insane. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me… but… I want to feel it. I want to know it’s real, that it exists… and it’s not the same thing I feel when I’m alone...” His face remained hidden from view under his hair. “I need it… do you understand?”  
  
Hinata remained silent, his heavy breathing the only noise that left his throat, trying to process what the other asked of him. He was considering it, seeking in the twists and folds of his mind for the presence he usually made an effort to push back, that side of him that could help him understand that. He didn’t want to admit it… but he understood… despite how taboo the word now was in that place, with the slightly cautious looks many still directed at Komaeda… he understood how much he was exposing himself, the trust placed in him… even the fear of rejection. And that seemed to be what the other began to see happening, given how his freed hands and bent body stayed extremely still, waiting to just be left alone.

  
Hinata leaned over him, softly caressing his partner’s waist and leaving a warm kiss on the back of his neck, covered by the longest parts of the woolly hair. “I get it. I’ll do it. But next time you talk to me, you tell me from the start what you feel and what you want. Okay?” The fluffy head of hair moved affirmatively, soon grabbing on to the edge of the couch again.

  
The brown-haired man took a few moments as he straightened up, furrowed his brow and grabbed the other’s hips hard, thrusting and pushing them forcefully against the couch. At the first sign of struggle, he expertly took his wrist and twisted his warm behind his back to immobilize him, pushing him forward until his feet were no longer in contact with the floor.

  
The pleading and crying out was the hardest part for Hinata to handle, but reminding himself that it was what the other wanted, and knowing that it was all nothing they hadn’t done before with the same intensity and in the same positions… he wasn’t really hurting him, he knew that for sure. And though it took some effort, he quickly picked up the pace, reading into the scratching as signs to continue and the screams as signs of enjoyment.  
  
Among the cacophony of moaning and whining, and the constant shuddering of the delicate body under each thrust, he had no way to know his partner had reached a confusing orgasm through the overwhelming sensations intoxicating him. Never pausing to let him recover, Hinata continued trying to delay his own, but ultimately unable to in the hard rhythm that kept him tense in every movement. The guttural groan scratched his throat and came out between his clenched teeth, when the heat sunk violently down his abdomen and the pressure made his thighs shiver. He managed to pull out of the other in time for the thick and abundant stream of white was poured on his back, ending in two shorter bursts that left a clear trail over the pale buttocks.  
  
Komaeda’s body fell defeated over the couch’s backrest, bent as he was and with an arm twisted in a painful-looking angle. Without waiting to even catch his breath, Hinata was already gently releasing his grip, massaging the twisted arm and returning it to a more natural position. There was nothing he needed to say. He just wanted to let Komaeda rest as he tended to him. He took his shirt off and used it to wipe him clean, both his back and between his legs, as he lowered his gaze and caught sight of the thick drop that had slid from the couch’s leather to the floor… he’d take care of that later, at least it wasn’t an absorbent material.  
  
In contrast with the harsh treatment he’d deal out moments before, his hands now picked the other up with care, caressing his skin and adjusting his weight to rest him against his chest.  
  
“Nagito...” He whispered, seeing his closed eyes and slight smile on his lips. He used the side of his hand to clean the remains of saliva there.  
  
“Hinata-kun...” The soft voice was a blessing to him, as was the olive gaze his partner directed at him while his smile grew.  
  
“Shh… it’s alright, I’ll take care of you now. Just rest.” He had him held against himself, easy to carry to their room and their bed. In any other moment he would’ve helped him get washed, even shower if he felt like it, but with how exhausted he looked, the brown-haired man thought it best to just put him in between the covers, also getting in beside him.  
  
He wasn’t done getting comfortable when Komaeda already cuddled against his chest, placing a hand over one of his pectorals and finding a place for his shoulder in the space under Hinata’s arm. He couldn’t help but smile, endeared. “Was that what you needed? Feel better now?” His partner nodded, lethargic, burying his face against his neck.   
  
“It’s just memories… it’s not the same as… as  _ before _ . And even though I tried… I really tried to… I couldn’t find despair under your hands.” His hands came out slowly, in each light breath against the other’s healthy, tan skin.  
  
“Glad to hear it.” Upon the declaration the snowy-haired man’s hands trailed along his chest until enveloping him in a hug, raising a leg to wrap around his. Hinata felt the tickling of long eyelashes against his neck. The mechanical hand slid over the skin of his chest and down his stomach, resting hard as it was, but he was already so used to the contact it felt as human as if it were his partner’s hand in itself or even his stump.  
  
“Sometimes I get scared, you know? … that she might  _ still _ be here.” Hinata’s smile faltered as he heard those words. “That she’s in some corner, spying on us, waiting for the right moment to appear. That’s why I seek her out… even though I know she’s only in my mind.”   
  
Hinata was listening silently, but gave a “hm” to indicate he was paying as much attention as such a delicate matter required.   
  
“But no matter how much I look, I don’t find her. The memory becomes blurrier, more distant every day, and I  _ hope  _ that someday it just won’t be there anymore.” Komaeda smiled, stretching up to leave a kiss on the warm neck before him, surprising the brown-haired man who was thankful the position didn’t leave in sight his rapidly appearing blush. “Her appearance in my life was the worst move my luck has played on me, as well as the best, since thanks to that, thanks to her… I’m with you today. I love you, Hinata-kun… and the hope still shining inside you.”  
  
His voice was fading, until only the soft rhythm of his breathing was left behind, in profound and tired sleep. Moving carefully so as to not disturb him, Hinata adjusted to be able to hug him, petting his hair and leaving a kiss on his forehead. “I love you too, Nagito.” He responded when he was certain the other was asleep, the words would’ve been too embarrassing for him otherwise.


End file.
